Shards of My Broken Reflection
by Lonely Rain
Summary: Ryoma is really a girl on the boys' tennis team. But no one knows that. Not even Ryuuzaki-sensei. The trouble of keeping the secret finally gets to her. But who are the boy and girl on the other side of the mirror...and with scars on their arms...? Thrill
1. The First Shard: Broken

Look Look! NEW STORY!

Enjoy!

December 24, 2008

* * *

Ryoma sighed. Strange as it might seem, she could pass off as a really pretty boy when she was really a girl. It was interesting yet, saddening, to see how everyone believed their own ideas even though she had proved them wrong already.

They thought they couldn't be beaten by a girl. Check.

They thought they would never let a girl on the boys' team. Check.

They thought that no female could truly understand their drive for tennis. Check

She had defied all of these and they still hadn't realized it. She stared at herself in the mirror. Long, green-black hair tumbled past her shoulders to mid-back while wide, angled, golden cat-eyes stared at the reflection from under thin eyebrows. High cheekbones and a full mouth completed the ethereal look of beauty of the teenager not quite filled out into adulthood.

Expressionless, Ryoma put on the short haired wig made from her own green-black hair. Her chest was bound flat. Her soft face morphed into one of arrogance and boyishness. Her façade had officially started.

"Ryoma-chan? You need to hurry or you'll be late!"

"Hai, Okaa-san."

Ryoma took one last look at herself in the mirror. The boy who looked back at her smirked. He didn't like her. She knew that. But what could she do? He was part of her. Tentatively, she reached out to touch him. Loftily, he returned the favour. But the moment their fingertips touched, something snapped; something broke; something shattered; and it wasn't just the mirror…

* * *

Tezuka sighed as he looked at the freshman. The kid had come in later than usual, missing almost all of practice. But the strange thing was the bandage wrapped around his right hand. Everyone had looked a little confused at what might have happened but the freshman wouldn't answer. He would turn away and walk off, ignoring the questions completely.

But Ryuuzaki-sensei wanted an actual explanation.

"Echizen!" he called

The boy turned to glare at him. His hat cast the shadow over those bright eyes, making them glow from the shadows. Echizen sighed and walked over to Tezuka. He plopped himself on the bench next to the captain and stared off.

"What is it, Buchou?" the voice sounded a little odd, almost as if it was off balance ever so slightly.

"Ryuuzaki-sensei wants an actual explanation for why you were late this morning." Tezuka replied.

"…the mirror in my bathroom shattered. I was cleaning it up and cut myself a couple of times. That's all." Echizen stated in the odd voice.

"How did your mirror shatter?" Tezuka asked, startled at the truth of the boy's statement.

Echizen stood up and started to walk around the captain to the gate. He opened the gate and paused; he looked up at the sky then straight forward.

"I punched it."

* * *

Fuji cornered Tezuka right after practice in the locker rooms. Echizen was the only one who had already left, leaving the rest of the regulars to stare after him in confusion and Tezuka to watch him in concern.

"Tezuka, what did Echizen say was the reason why his hand was hurt?" Fuji asked with his eyes open.

Tezuka stared at him for a moment before he answered. "He said that his bathroom mirror shattered and that he cut himself picking up the pieces. But when I asked how it shattered, he said that he punched it."

The regulars stared at the captain before looking at each other.

"Do you think he's lying?" Taka asked.

Momo shook his head. "If the gaki was lying it would be so outlandish that it wouldn't even be funny."

Tezuka also shook his head. "He wasn't lying. I don't know if anyone else noticed but Echizen's voice was off. He was completely serious when he answered my questions, but it was almost like his internal balance was off."

Fuji sighed. He had noticed that Echizen seemed different. He looked at Tezuka and noticed that the young captain had come to the same conclusion.

Something was wrong with the rookie.

* * *

Ryoma glared at the boy in the new mirror.

The boy glared back.

Ryoma smirked.

The boy glowered.

Ryoma held up the shard of mirror she had salvaged from the shattered one that morning. It was only about four inches long and in the shape of a knife with a small handle. The difference was instead of the edge being the flat thickness of the mirror; it was tapered to a keen edge along the curved knife-edge. The point glinted with a malicious bloodlust. The boy watched in horror as Ryoma lifted her right arm and he lifted his left. Gently, almost like a caress, she brought the point dancing down her arm. The edge dug into the skin. A red line swelled beneath the glass knife as blood slowly seeped out of the deep cut.

Ryoma felt warmth flood her body. It felt good to cut away all her problems with shards of herself. The boy silently howled on the other side of the glass. She placed her new friend on the countertop and smirked at the boy glaring angrily at her through the mirror and holding his arm. She closed her eyes and grabbed the wig.

"Goodbye for today."

Ryoma ripped off the wig and looked in the mirror. A sad, confused, lonely girl stood on the other side of the mirror now. The only difference was: she didn't understand how she got the cut on her left arm.

Ryoma broke down into tears before crawling to her bed to cry herself to sleep.

* * *

Ah! What will happen next? find out in the next installment on January 28, 2009!

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	2. The Second Shard: Reflection

Hello again. Enjoy!

January 28, 2009

Chapter Two

* * *

Ryoma made sure to wait until everyone had left before changing. Normally, she changed in a bathroom stall so that she could still make it to class on time. But today, she had no plans of hurrying to class.

Ryoma changed slowly in the empty clubroom. She wasn't thinking of anything in particular. She pulled on her gakuran and buttoned it even slower. When she finished, she rested her forehead against the cool metal of her locker. Ryoma listened to her breathing echo quietly throughout the clubhouse. She liked being alone most of the time, but sometimes she wished she could be more like the boy in the mirror.

He had friends. He had people who loved him. He had competitors and enemies. But the girl in the mirror… No one knew of her except Ryoma. Not even Ryoma's family knew of the girl. Ryoma's family only knew Ryoma and the boy. Ryoma spun around and sank to the ground, her back against the locker. Ryoma wasn't confused as to why she hurt herself. She liked the fact that the pain took her away from her sadness. She didn't like the loneliness she felt when surrounded by the other regulars.

If Ryoma had looked deeper into her issue, she knew that she would find that the real reason for her masochistic desire would be because she just wanted someone to love her. She wanted someone who would know when she was lying, when she was crying inside and laughing outside. She wanted someone who could love her no matter what scars she had. But Ryoma didn't want to look deeper. She didn't want to because she knew she would have to face the boy and the girl. She didn't want to face them; she wasn't ready to. Ryoma knew if she faced them now that she would shatter. And if she did shatter, she knew that right now there was no one to help her through it. No one to help her pick up the shattered pieces and glue herself back together.

Ryoma numbly stood up and walked dazedly to the bathroom part of the clubhouse. She splashed cold water onto her face, pointedly ignoring the mirror in front of her. The cold water woke her up from her dazed state and Ryoma heard a strange sound. She made the mistake of looking up into the mirror. The boy on the other side was sobbing. _She_ was sobbing.

Ryoma's hands dug into the porcelain of the sink. She desperately tried to stop the sobs, ignoring the fact that her hand had begun to bleed through the bandages. A few moments later, when blood dripped into the sink, Ryoma stopped altogether. The only sounds were her harsh breathing and he sound of rushing water. Ryoma lifted her bandaged hand in front of her face. The boy in the mirror did the same.

The tears continued to fall down her cheeks as well as the boy's. Ryoma remained expressionless while the boy looked desperate. Slowly, Ryoma smiled slightly as she grasped her right arm; right on top of the cut. Pain swept her away into a white world.

But just before Ryoma sank into oblivion, she saw the boy scream on the other side of the mirror, but she only heard her own gasp.

* * *

Ryoma slowly got up from the floor of the bathroom when she heard the door to the clubhouse open. She took a minute to compose herself before stepping into the locker room. Fuji Syusuke stood in the doorway to the clubhouse with eyes open in a shocked expression. The two stood there gazing at each other before Fuji's eyes narrowed.

"Echizen, what are you doing in the clubhouse? You've been acting strange lately. What's wrong?" Fuji asked, smile missing.

Ryoma closed her eyes, face expressionless. She let the boy take over. She kept an eye on him. She didn't want him to spill her secret before it even got started.

_Echizen_ opened his eyes. He walked toward Fuji slowly. "Betsuni."

Echizen tried to walk past Fuji toward his bag, but Fuji wanted a real answer.

"Echizen!" Fuji grabbed the boy's right arm to stop him. What Fuji didn't expect was the boy to gasp and drop to his knees, bliss overflowing in the golden eyes. Fuji dropped the boy's arm like a hot brick. His first thought was that Echizen Ryoma was gay. But Fuji dismissed the thought to the back of his mind until it was proven. Echizen hadn't moved from his knees. Fuji knelt in front of the boy.

"Echi-" Fuji froze when Echizen slumped forward into Fuji's arms.

"Echizen!" Fuji quickly checked the boy's pulse and breathing. He sighed when he realized the boy had just fainted. Fuji noticed that Echizen's hand was bleeding through the bandages. Fuji carried Echizen over to the bench with the boy's bag. He idly noticed that Echizen seemed so light in his arms. He got the first-aid kit and began to rewrap the boy's hand. Fuji stared at the lacerations on the boy's hand. He almost felt sorry for the boy. He also felt confused as to why Echizen would punch a mirror in the first place. Fuji was so concentrated on his work that he didn't notice Echizen had woken up. Fuji had just finished wrapping the hand when it left his field of vision.

"Echizen, what happened? And I want a real answer." Fuji stated.

"I fainted." Fuji grimaced and whapped the other boy upside the head.

"Obviously. I meant why?" Fuji waited for an answer. But Echizen just stood up and grabbed his bag. He passed a stunned Fuji and opened the door to the clubhouse. Echizen paused at the door, looking at the sky outside with a painful, lonely look on his face.

"Tell Buchou I'm sick. And thanks for wrapping my hand." Echizen paused again.

"But-" Fuji began.

"Pain, Fuji-sempai, pain." Echizen whispered and then left.

* * *

Fuji stayed in the clubroom for the rest of that period and the next before the lunch bell rang, disturbing his thinking.

"Ne, Fujiko, where were you? You left to get a book from the clubroom and never came back." Eiji pounced on Fuji the moment he entered the room. Fuji smiled at Eiji before untangling himself from the red-head.

"Saa ne." Then Fuji turned serious. "I met up with Echizen in the clubhouse. He wouldn't answer me when I asked him why he was acting strange lately. I grabbed his arm to stop him from leaving and he passed out. His hand was bleeding, so I rewrapped it. He woke up and then he left without answering my questions and told me to tell Tezuka he was sick." Fuji huffed in disappointment. It was unusual for him to act like that, but the fact that something was wrong with the baby of Seigaku called for some unusual reactions.

"This is something serious, Fuji. Maybe we should have a talk with him." Eiji said gravely.

Fuji nodded as he looked out the window, thinking of Echizen's whispered answer.

"Maybe we should. Maybe we should."

* * *

Ryoma could almost hear the boy on the other side of the mirror. She glared at him. He glared back. His eyes were accusing, curious as to why she decided to keep this mess from _his_ friends. They were the boy's friends, not hers.

_**Why are you doing this?**_ He asked.

_Because I want to._ She answered.

_**Will you ever tell?**_

_I don't know._

_**I want to tell them.**_

_No._

_**But it hurts! Don't keep it a secret!**_

_I want to. The Pain is good._

_**I don't like the pain.**_

_Well I do! And you will deal with the pain until I decide to tell._ Ryoma picked up the glass knife gently with her bandaged hand. She caressed its edge delicately. Slowly, Ryoma brought the tip down her arm. Her bandaged hand trembled in blissful pain, digging deeper into her arm. Ryoma gasped. Blood spilled sluggishly across the countertop. Her wig slipped off as Ryoma lost herself to the blinding white bliss.

When Ryoma came out of her oblivion enough to care for her arm, she stumbled through the process with tears blurring her vision. Dimly, she heard the boy ask one last question, even though he had disappeared for the day.

_**Will you ever tell?**_

_Someday,_ Ryoma thought as she fell into a restless sleep.

* * *

There is chapter 2 for you. check out my other updates: Twins Chapter 8 and An Impossible World Chapter 11. Next update will be February 14. not sure if i'll have total updates for all three stories or if i'll just post a oneshot, but there will be a posting on Feb. 14.

Read and review please!


	3. The Third Shard: Discovery

February 14, 2009

hope you all enjoy!

* * *

Fuji stepped silently into his house. He was so deep in his thoughts that he forgot to announce himself. His sister Yumiko entered the hallway.

"Okaeri, Syusuke." Yumiko stated quietly.

"Ah, tadaima, onee-san." Fuji said, startled.

"Ne, Syusuke, let me read your fortune." Yumiko said. Fuji opened his eyes in surprise but nodded anyway. He followed his sister up the stairs to her room. Fuji sat down at the low table in the center of his sister's room. Yumiko took her time retrieving her tarot cards. She sat down across from her brother and started to set out the cards in the traditional three card position. The three cards that were turned over surprised Yumiko. The first was the Fool, the second was the Moon, and the third was the Lovers card. Yumiko was silent for a while before explaining the cards to her brother.

"The Fool in your Past stands for someone you know as self-confident, indifferent to others' opinions, a child. Perhaps you've known this person for a long time or even just as a new friend. The Moon in your Present means that something isn't as it appears to be. This could have something to do with the Fool in your Past. The Fool could be hiding something from you, hiding it in plain sight. The Lovers card in your Future stands for a possible relationship. A possible Love relationship or maybe just a deeper friendship will be the meaning of this card. Perhaps with the Fool as well." Yumiko stated blankly.

Fuji was quiet for a short while, before raising his head to ask his question.

"Nee-san, could you do another reading?" He asked

"For you or a friend?" Yumiko asked

"For Echizen." Fuji said.

"Mada Mada-kun?" Yumiko asked, surprised. Fuji nodded.

Yumiko gathered up the cards and began to deal them out again. She started to smile with each overturned card that tied her brother's friend's future. The Fool, The Judgment, and The Tower. Yumiko let her brother mull over the possibilities of Echizen's future. Finally, she ended Fuji's wait.

"Mada mada-kun's future seems well tied in with yours. The Fool in Echizen's past is the same as yours, meaning that Echizen is your Fool of a Friend. The Judgment card in Echizen's Present means that a change will come. It is inevitable. However, you might be the one to help bring that change around and help Mada mada-kun through it. Mada mada-kun may resent or regret the decisions that were once made but can be cleansed. The Judgment card means that Echizen can be forgiven and cleansed of the troubling decisions made. Echizen can renew the friendships that Echizen's mistakes may have hurt. The Tower in Echizen's Future means that the secret kept will blow up in Echizen's face. The poor child will not be able to handle the force of reality and will crumble. That is where you come in. Your Lover's card ties in with Echizen's Tower card by the fact that you will be the one to bring about the truth to everyone else. You will also be the one to help Echizen through this trying process. The tower of Echizen's secret will either fall on it's own, you finding out what it is and revealing it, or be pushed over by Mada mada-kun, Echizen not being able to handle the secret itself. If you stay close to Echizen, the child may come to you when everything self-destructs." Yumiko enjoyed explaining tied fates without revealing secrets. They were so hard to create while not bringing attention to the fact that you knew something.

Fuji sat in silence, contemplating the ties between him and Echizen and the secret the Echizen was hiding.

"Arigato Nee-san." Fuji stood up and left for his room. It wasn't until after he shut his door and landed on his bed that he realized that not once had his sister said 'he' in reference to Echizen.

* * *

Ryoma groggily woke up from her contorted position. He pain in her arm was stunning. She couldn't move it. Delicately, Ryoma sat up and unwrapped the bandage from her left arm and saw the disgusting cut. The blood had seeped through the bandage and skin. Ryoma winced as she pushed through her morning rituals. But Ryoma decided she wasn't going to go to school today. She needed a break from the boy and his friends. She dressed in low-rider jeans and a black long-sleeved shirt under a red short-sleeved shirt to cover the new bandage on her arms. She pulled her hair into a ponytail and completely bypassed her wig. She grabbed her wallet and made sure she had a lot of money from her savings. She sat down at the table to a Japanese breakfast and ate greedily. Ryoma bid her parents and cousin goodbye before dashing out of the house.

She blatantly ignored the fact that her Oyaji thought that she should be in school right now. Her mother seemed to understand. She had protected Ryoma from her father's concerned questions to which Ryoma was grateful. She contemplated her position as she walked to the train station to get into town. Nanjirou was very perceptive when he wanted to be. She would have to be careful. She would have to move the cuts somewhere else soon. To play serious tennis, Ryoma would have to wear short-sleeved shirts which would show her scars. She needed her scars to fade before she could do that. She could have just worn her wristband, but the cuts traveled far up her arms, too far for the wristbands.

Ryoma decided to buy some ice cream first. It was still early in the day but her train ride and walk had taken up most of her morning. She had ended up in Tokyo Park when she pulled herself out of her thoughts. She walked over to an ice cream stand and ordered a mint chocolate chip cookie dough two-scoop chocolate-drizzled cone. She focused on eating her ice cream so that she could ignore her other issues.

Ryoma smiled grimly to herself. She wanted to cry so badly, but the tears just wouldn't come. Granted, she didn't want to do it in public but it would be nice if she could cry. Ryoma stared at her half-eaten ice cream. She needed something to take her mind off of everything. She would have enjoyed a game of tennis, but if she played right now she could really damage her chances of going pro or even playing ever. Sighing softly, she stood up and began to walk towards the tennis courts, finishing her ice cream. Ryoma watched the tennis players without really seeing them. The sounds of tennis balls hitting a racquet lulled her into a dazed state. She wanted to talk to someone but was scared that people would see her differently. She cut herself every night because she had no one to confide in, no one she could really trust. Pain made her focus on something else. Pain let her escape. If she talked to her friends, they would want her to face her problems. Ryoma's twisted logic told her that if someone just accepted the way she was she might just change on her own, to where she didn't need the pain.

"Echizen?" Ryoma opened her eyes to look into the startled blue eyes of Fuji Syusuke. Ryoma almost immediately let the boy take over, but then remembered that Fuji should not have known her as a female.

"I'm sorry; I think you have me mistaken for someone else." Ryoma stated in a slightly off voice. Fuji narrowed his eyes.

"I don't think so. Echizen Ryoma wasn't in school today and then I see someone who looks just like him and is acting just as strangely as him and isn't wearing a school uniform. So obviously, you and Echizen Ryoma, the boy, are the same person and have been hiding something." Fuji looked upset, maybe even angry. Ryoma sighed and looked down.

"Yes, I'm a girl. I guess…I just…" Ryoma couldn't finish her sentence. Having one of her secrets found out just like that was shocking. She couldn't form an explanation. She didn't want to. She wanted someone to understand something even she couldn't. Ryoma turned around and started to walk away before Fuji could see the tears that started to gather in her eyes, never falling. Fuji grabbed her arm before she could get very far. Ryoma gasped as the cut from last night hurt worse than she thought it might. For some reason, the pain didn't sweep her away this time. Panic rose in Ryoma's chest. If the pain wasn't taking her away from her problems anymore, there would be nothing to do so. Ryoma started to struggle slightly. Fuji was surprised when he felt wetness through the thin sleeve of the girl in front of him.

"Echizen what's wr-" Fuji stopped when Echizen yanked her arm away. She stood there in shock before starting to run away again. Fuji ran after her deciding that privacy was what Echizen was going for and that it would be better to talk to her then. He now understood why his sister hadn't said 'he' when referring to Echizen because Echizen wasn't a 'he'. He ran down the path after the girl. There was a bend coming up that had a secret pathway. The path led to a small alcove with a bench. Fuji didn't see Echizen running ahead so he assumed that the girl had gone down the path. He turned and started running down the pathway. He burst through the trees to see the girl sitting on the ground with her sleeves up and unwrapped, baring the cuts on her arms for the world to see.

"Ryoma…"

* * *

So the cat is out of the bag now. What will happen next? sorry, no _Twins_ update. wasn't able to get over the chaotic wall of writer's block. _An Impossible World_ is updated though. a bit longer than i had planned and now i have to go into another chapter for Level 1. oh well, more for my lovely readers! Next update is March 14, White Day!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Read and Review!


	4. The Fourth Shard: Promise

Hello! Happy White Day everyone! here's the new chapter for you loyal readers!

March 14, 2009

* * *

"Ryoma…" Fuji dropped to his knees in front of the girl, staring at the blood that flowed from the wounds on her arms. "Oh, Ryoma…why?" Fuji whispered desperately.

Ryoma looked up at Fuji pleadingly, hoping that he would somehow understand. She shivered at the sound of her name. Her tears blurred her vision. Her sobs racked her body. She just wanted everything to go away. She was surprised when she felt arms wrap around her tightly.

"Why? Why do you care? Aren't you disgusted with me? What-" Ryoma cried out. She was cut off as Fuji pulled back and looked – more like glared – her straight in the eyes.

"Of course I'm disgusted! To think that you could belittle yourself enough to harm yourself without thinking about it. What if you had accidentally killed yourself? How do you think everyone would react?" Fuji asked angrily. Ryoma's attitude changed instantly.

"This is why I kept it a secret. You don't understand. You don't even know who I am!" Ryoma exclaimed.

"Of course I do!" Fuji replied. Ryoma broke free from Fuji's grasp.

"No you don't! I'm not the Echizen Ryoma you know. I'm not the cocky arrogant brat. I'm not the one who enjoys playing tennis. That's the boy. That's not me!" Ryoma's voice got lower to a whisper near the end of her tirade. She stood up and backed away from Fuji, her normally bright eyes dull and lifeless.

"Who is the boy, Echizen?" Fuji asked quietly.

"The same as the girl. They both want me to reveal everything. I didn't want to but someone found out anyway. Now I have to face them. I'm scared. I don't want to hear them tell me they were right. I'm not going to-" Ryoma fainted as the blood loss finally took over and her stressed mind left for the comfort of the darkness of unconsciousness. Fuji caught her and held her close. For some reason he felt that she might shatter into tiny little pieces if he didn't hold her like a delicate glass figurine. Gently, Fuji picked her up and carried her to his house. His sister and parents were out so he had the house to himself. He laid Ryoma on his bed and went to the bathroom to get bandages for her arms.

When he came back, Ryoma had woken up and was shivering and cowering on the far side of his bed against the wall. Fuji slowly approached the girl and sat down on the bed.

"Echizen, I'm not mad at you. Just let me clean and bandage your arms." Fuji said very softly and slowly, like speaking to a toddler. He didn't want to scare the girl any more than she already was. Ryoma looked up at him and searched his opened eyes for some answer to her questions. Eventually, she looked away and held her arms out. Fuji started to roll back the sleeves when Ryoma shied away from him as the sleeve pulled against the drying blood. Fuji sighed.

"Echizen, I know this may seem uncomfortable, but you'll have to remove the long-sleeved shirt first. I'll be right out side the door, so just hand it to me and I'll go put it in the washer. Okay?" Fuji asked quietly. Ryoma nodded slowly and waited for Fuji to leave the room.

From outside, Fuji could hear the whimpers as the cloth was removed from the wounds. He took the shirt that was being held just through the door crack and went to go put it in the washer. He returned to his room to find Ryoma on the floor in just her jeans and bra. Her head was bowed and resting on her knees as her arms were just lying to her sides as if they weren't even attached. Fuji blushed slightly at the fact that Ryoma seemed to trust him enough as a friend to not even be fully clothed in his presence.

"Come on Echizen. Sit on the bed. It'll be easier and faster to bandage the cuts there." Fuji said as he helped the girl up and onto the bed. He pulled the girl's shirt over her head and waited for her to push her arms through the sleeves. He started to clean the cuts slowly and carefully.

"You were lying, right?" Ryoma's voice was so soft that Fuji almost didn't hear it. He looked up startled.

"You were lying, right? When you said you weren't mad at me. Earlier, you said you were disgusted. Now you say you're not mad at me." Ryoma said emotionlessly.

Fuji continued to clean and bandage Ryoma's arms as he answered. "I'm upset that you believed you couldn't trust any of your sempai enough to tell us the truth. And then you go and start to cut yourself. Echizen, self-infliction is not right. It hurts everyone around you just as much as it hurts you."

"I don't have anyone I can trust. Only myself. And then I started to drift away from even myself. And then the boy started to appear across from me. He hated me. The girl just cried. Only I knew about her. My parents don't know, the boy doesn't know, and no one else knew. Everyone knew about the boy and only my parents knew me. Now you know about everything. But where does that leave me? Can I trust you? Would you tell the others even if I asked you not to? Would you tell my parents? What would you do?" Ryoma questioned desperately. Fuji could almost feel the panic that seemed to set into the girl's bones.

"I should tell everyone. I should tell your parents. I want to tell them. I want you to trust me. There are a lot of things that I want to do and that I should do. But I won't tell anyone because I'm afraid of what you might do if they found out. I don't want you to do anything to yourself anymore. I don't like to see you hurt yourself and I would rather you didn't anymore." Fuji replied evenly.

"But I don't know what to do anymore! The pain doesn't work anymore. It hurts, but it doesn't take me away anymore. It stopped working and I'm going to lose myself. As much as I put on that cocky arrogant front, it's not me and I don't want to be like that for the rest of my life. I don't want to be seen that way." Ryoma leaned forward, arms awkwardly stretched out as if searching for acceptance or help.

"Echizen…what do you want?" Fuji asked, his eyes searching hers for the answer. Tears started to fall as Ryoma tried desperately to search herself and still avoid breaking.

"I don't know! And I don't know how to find out either. Just…please…help me…" Ryoma broke off as she couldn't explain herself. She just cried curling up on herself.

"Stop! Don't do that!" Fuji reached out and pulled her back into a straighter position. Ryoma stared at Fuji as he pulled her into his arms. "There is your first problem. You pull everything into yourself. You need to have a friend you can lean on." Ryoma was still until Fuji uttered the last sentence. She started to struggle as Fuji just pulled her closer.

"Let me go! Don't you get it? I don't have people like that! I don't have friends like that." Ryoma cried. Fuji pulled back and glared at the girl.

"So I'm not your friend at all?" he asked frigidly. Ryoma froze.

"No," she whispered. "No you are. But not that type of friend. Here in Japan, I am just your kouhai. But we are not close friends. You and I call each other by our last names. In America, I had many friends. They called me by my given name. They knew me for me. They loved me. But here, I don't know anyone. I'm just a cocky arrogant freshman who tries to be at the top. I feel lonely. I just-" Fuji cut Ryoma off.

"Can I call you by your given name? Would you be happier that way? Would you stop hurting yourself?" He asked fervently. Ryoma giggled, completely throwing Fuji off balance.

"Please do call me by my given name. I will be happier but that's not going to satisfy me forever. One step at a time, Fuji-sempai." Ryoma's eyes darkened again as she spoke Fuji's name. Fuji noticed but hesitated slightly.

"Maybe we all need a fresh start. Let's reintroduce ourselves as close friends. I'm Fuji Syusuke, but you can call me Syusuke. And you are?" Fuji said softly with a smile and a proffered hand. Ryoma returned it slowly.

"I'm Echizen Ryoma, but please call me Ryoma. Nice to meet you, too, Syusuke."

* * *

Syusuke had convinced Ryoma to take a nap while he cooked lunch. She waited until he had his back turned before she prowled his room, yearning to know more about her new friend. He really did like that cactus plant. Cacti lined the two windowsills on the sides of the bed. The room was obviously a corner room in the house. The bed was in the far corner, one side pushed against the right wall under one window. The other window was next to the bedside table. A desk was on the other side of the same window. A tall dresser was against the wall next to the door. Another two doors were next to each other on the last wall. One for his bathroom and the other for his closet. Ryoma deemed herself satisfied and lay down on the bed. As she drifted off, she snuggled deeper into the pillow.

_Fu-Syusuke smells nice… _she thought.

* * *

Syusuke knocked gently on the door to his room before pushing it open.

"Ryoma?" he smiled softly at the girl sleeping silently and hugging his pillow to her torso. He sat down on the bed and gazed at her, contemplating the information he gleaned from the girl's episode. He didn't even realize he had started playing with her hair. He had realized quite slowly that all of this stemmed from Ryoma's desire to be more real. It seemed she was forced to grow up too quickly and she was still a child. Just a thirteen-year-old girl who was forced to grow up and then separated from friends. He felt sorry for her; even though he knew very well that she wouldn't want his pity. He had always felt very protective of her, even when he thought she was a boy. Now he felt even more protective. He could tell that his feelings were going to change very soon. She reminded him so achingly of Yuuta. Yuuta had pushed him away. Fuji had been the one to reach out and was left alone. But he was only lonely in their brother relationship. At school, he had friends who understood and tried to help take his mind off of it.

But Ryoma was reaching out and had no one to distract her. No one to fall back on as she was pulled away from everything. Their stories were different, but held that same note of loneliness. This time, Syusuke was reaching out again. It was now up to Ryoma if she was going to let him catch her. He wanted her to let him catch her. She needed to fall, and soon, before something even worse happened. But if she fell she would shatter into shards so small that no one would be able to put her back together. Syusuke didn't want that to happen.

He was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he didn't even notice that Ryoma had switched from the nice-smelling pillow to the real thing. Her head rested on his thigh and one hand was tangled in his shirt. Syusuke was pulled out of his musings when he felt a small hand tug on his shirt. He looked down into Ryoma's golden irises. He could see the pain in the girl's eyes. He could see her confusion. His own expression changed to one of a soothing presence.

"Ne, Ryoma. What did you use to cut yourself?" Syusuke asked gently. He had thoroughly examined the cuts on her arms. Though there were only two total, one on each arm, they were very deep. He was surprised that they didn't need stitches.

Ryoma was quiet for a moment before muttering. "A mirror shard." Syusuke was shocked.

"Was that why you broke your mirror?" Ryoma shook her head at his question.

"I broke it because of the boy on the other side. He hated me. And I wanted him to go away. So I punched him. But the mirror was in the way and it broke. I found a piece that was shaped like a knife when I was cleaning up and I kept it. Then I used it to cut myself. I'm not sure I can stop." Ryoma said softly.

"Please stop! Don't cut yourself. Even if just for me. It shouldn't be too hard right? You only did it twice." Syusuke seemed so desperate. Ryoma sighed.

"I'll try, but I make no promises yet." Ryoma said, knowing that she most likely wouldn't stop anyway. Syusuke had sworn to secrecy and that would last for a little while, but not for too long.

"At least it's something…" Syusuke whispered.

* * *

well there it is. i hope you enjoyed it. the next update will be on April 12 which is Easter Sunday. and my little brother's birthday... but anyway, i'm not sure which stories will exactly be updated but i have hope for at least two next time.

Loveishnesses, Lonely Rain

Please Read and Review!


	5. The Fifth Shard: Secrets

Hello and Enjoy!

April 12, 2009

* * *

Ryoma knew that Syusuke wanted her to stop with the cutting. She understood how it was wrong and that there was an underlying danger to it, but she did not want to stop. Even if someone else knew about the girl and boy in the mirror, she liked the pain. Ryoma didn't quite want Syusuke to know that she liked the pain. She never pegged herself to be a masochist and she didn't want Seigaku's infamously sadistic tensai to know about it. Ryoma was sure that if Syusuke found out, that he wouldn't do anything right now. But if they ever got really close, and maybe even close enough for a relationship, Ryoma was also pretty sure that Syusuke might take advantage of that. She didn't really want to survive on pain but even she could see that the way she was going now, it just might happen.

Ryoma returned home and walked up into her bathroom. The girl looked back at her blankly. The girl didn't seem sure of anything or even alive. Ryoma sighed as she looked at the reflection. She felt tired and wanted someone to cuddle her to them. But she didn't want it to be her parents or cousin. Ryoma stared at the girl in the mirror, wondering exactly who it was she wanted to cuddle with. The feeling of loneliness of not knowing who she wanted finally got to her and she started to cry. Her hands itched for the mirror blade. Ryoma opened the top drawer under the counter and unwrapped the shard from its fluffy toweled confines. She really didn't want to pick it up and cut herself again but her hands seemed to have a mind of their own. The shard drew closer to her wrist as Ryoma started sobbing quietly. The blade cut skin and Ryoma gave a silent cry of one name. She repeated that name as the mirror blade cut again and again. It didn't cut as deep as the firs two times but still deep enough to draw blood. Ryoma's fingers trembled as the shard dropped from her fingertips and she held them to the wounds. Four more to the original two. Ryoma slowly climbed into the bath waiting for her and gently washed the cuts with an emotionless face.

__-_-I will eat you...-_-__

Syusuke waited anxiously for Ryoma to show up at school after morning practice. Tezuka had excused the girl because of the injury on her hand. Ryoma was trudging slowly onto the school grounds with her head down and shoulders hunched. Syusuke's brow creased even though his smile remained. Syusuke stalked over to the cross-dresser, grabbed her upper arm, and dragged her into the nearest boys' bathroom. He wouldn't have normally done it unless he was sure that he was the only one who knew that she was a girl. It was easy enough for him to keep her secret and not blush no matter how much his face felt like it wanted to. He checked to make sure they were alone before he locked the door and spun her against it. He pinned her to the door and began to roll up her sleeves. As soon as Ryoma figured out what he wanted to do, she started to struggle. Syusuke did the one thing that came to his mind, and which he knew he would end up slapping himself repeatedly for later; he kissed her. Ryoma's eyes flew open wide and she froze as the soft warm lips covered hers. She didn't even realize that as she was being kissed, her sleeves were being rolled up and the bandages were being undone. All she could think about were the soft lips on hers. She was instantly reminded of the name she had called out the night before and she began to cry as she instinctively responded to the kiss.

Syusuke was surprised when Ryoma responded to his kiss and nearly broke it. Her arms were bared for him to see but he stopped worrying about that the moment he noticed her crying. He pulled away as he looked at her wounds, secretly watching for her reaction to the kiss. He sighed as he saw the new cuts on her arms. He should have known that she wouldn't listen to him right away. He didn't like that fact. After all, it wasn't like he was trying to control her life or anything; he was just trying to protect her.

"Ryoma. Why did you cut yourself again?" Syusuke asked. Ryoma was startled out of her daze after the kiss. She hadn't even realized that Syusuke had broken away and was examining the newest addition to her arms. She looked up at Syusuke when he asked the question with such heartfelt pain. Ryoma didn't answer verbally but threw herself into Syusuke's arms as she began to sob into his chest.

"I'm lonely and every time I think of someone who can help me, you're the only one who pops up in my head. I don't know why. But I'm tired of being lonely. It hurts inside so much that my body naturally wants to get rid of the emotional pain through physical pain." Ryoma said through fabric and sobs. Syusuke didn't know what to do. So he just followed his instincts and wrapped Ryoma in his arms. He held her close to him, as if she were his world and that only she mattered to him. Ryoma seemed to sense this and only cried harder until she had nothing left in her. Syusuke knew she hadn't fallen asleep. The entire time he had rubbed circles on her back to help calm her down, so he could tell by her breathing that she wasn't asleep.

Syusuke had realized something as he held the girl close to him. He didn't want to let her go. He didn't want her to hurt anymore. He didn't want her to be lonely. Syusuke knew that he had fallen in love with the freshman. He thought about when it first started. Probably when he thought she was still a he and Ryoma had suffered the cut on the eyelid during the game with Shinji. But Fuji knew that he hadn't really started to love her until he saw how broken she was after breaking the mirror. Something inside Syusuke hinted that the shattered mirror was a metaphor for what was still to come.

He knew that after Ryoma had started this whole mess that the only way she would be able to heal would be to shatter the cracked image of herself and put herself back together in a new way. The problem was the human nature of avoiding such necessary pain. To shatter and not know how to put oneself back together was the problem for Ryoma. She was afraid that if she shattered and didn't have anyone there to catch her or help her put herself back together, then she would never be whole again. Ryoma's twisted logic was that it would be better to be cracked but in one piece than shattered and have no hope of ever being whole again. Syusuke wanted so badly to change that logic. An idea popped into his head, but Syusuke wasn't sure if it was a good idea right now. He sighed as he decided to think about it tonight and decide what to do then. But first he had to help Ryoma get though today.

"Ne, Ryoma. Will you wait for me after practice today and we can walk home together and talk more about this? Besides, watching us play is also a form a practicing and learning." Syusuke said hoping that she would agree. Ryoma nodded slightly. Syusuke sighed in relief.

"How about we stay here until lunch?" He asked with a slight smile on his face. Ryoma shook her head.

"The roof is better."

__-_-I will eat you...-_-__

The lunch bell rang in the distance as what looked like two boys lay on the roof. The smaller of the two had his head on the taller boy's lap as the taller boy leaned against the wall next to the door to the roof. The taller brunet ran his slender fingers through the soft black-green locks of the younger boy. The greenette slept peacefully on the brunet's lap.

"Saa, Ryoma. It's time to wake up and go to class. The lunch warning bell just rang." Syusuke gently shook the cross-dresser's shoulder. The girl mumbled softly before opening her golden eyes sleepily. Syusuke smiled as he wordlessly helped the sleepy girl to her feet and gently kissed her forehead before leading her downstairs to the first floor for the freshmen classes. Ryoma tried very hard to wake up enough to get to class on her own but was having extreme difficulty. She was glad that Syusuke was there to lead her to class. She didn't forget about the kiss in the bathroom or the one on the roof. But she knew she wouldn't be able to think about it until after she was at home, safely enclosed in her blankets.

Syusuke smilingly lead the girl to her seat in her classroom and situated her into the best sleeping position one could have in the uncomfortable desks provided. He petted her on the head until she dozed off again before leaving for his own class, completely ignoring the rumors now sprouting throughout the freshman population. He walked up to his own classroom to be pounced on by Eiji.

"Mou, Fujiko, where were you? You were at morning practice and then you disappeared for morning classes _and_ lunch." Eiji asked as Syusuke walked over to his seat with the redhead attached to his back. Eiji dropped from Syusuke's back as the tensai sat down. Instead, he hovered over the other boy's desk as he waited for an answer. Syusuke smiled as he waited patiently for the teacher to arrive and enjoying watching Eiji suffer in his anxious desire to know the answer to his question. As the teacher entered the room, Eiji sent a glare at the smiling tensai as he sat down in the desk next to Syusuke.

"That's mean, Fujiko, not to answer your worried friend." Eiji pouted as he waited for the afternoon teacher to call roll. Syusuke just smiled and put a finger up to his lips.

"Hi-mi-tsu, Eiji." Syusuke whispered with a wink. He turned away from the raging redhead and spent the afternoon classes daydreaming about a special freshman.

__-_-I will eat you...-_-__

Afternoon practice dragged for a certain brunet. He couldn't wait for it to end and so he obliterated his opponents in his anxiousness. Every so often, try as he might not to, he couldn't help but look at the golden-eyed girl on the other side of the fence. Syusuke so wanted to skip out on practice and just spend time alone with her. Even though he knew that he should tell the other regulars, he really wanted to keep this to himself. He didn't want the other regulars to find anything out and try to help her themselves. He wanted her to himself. Syusuke rushed through the 50 laps that Tezuka had them run and finished in a tie with Tezuka himself, leaving the others to suffer through the latest Inui-juice. And the Inui-juice this time was a colour that wasn't even in the colour spectrum and was burning the pitcher it was in. Syusuke was surprised when a queasy-looking Ryoma handed him a towel as he sat against the fence panting heavily.

"Here." Ryoma looked like she couldn't say more than that without throwing up stomach acid, her eyes glued on any sign of the Inui-juice coming near her. Syusuke grinned slightly as he took the towel offered with a nod of thanks.

He wiped his sweat off as he stood up to go back to the locker room to change quickly so he could take Ryoma home. She walked with him so that she could get away from the Inui-juice and the man who created the self-named abomination. As they neared the clubhouse, Syusuke gave Ryoma a pointed look and she looked away and walked over to the bench just outside the clubhouse. Syusuke knew that when Ryoma came back to play tennis that she would have to change with the guys again to keep up the pretenses of being a boy. Syusuke wasn't sure about what he'd do then. He blushed slightly at the thought as he quickly showered and changed. He left the other half-dead regulars who were crawling through the clubhouse door with a quick good-bye as he led Ryoma towards the school exit and out. As soon as they were off-grounds, Syusuke took Ryoma's hand as they walked towards her home. Syusuke was curious again about who exactly knew Ryoma's secret.

"Ryoma, does Ryuuzaki-sensei know? And your parents?" Syusuke asked softly. Ryoma looked confuzzled.

"How do you mean? The cutting or dressing as a boy?" Ryoma returned.

"Dressing as a boy." He replied. Ryoma looked down.

"Only my parents know. We never told Ryuuzaki-sensei." Ryoma mumbled.

"I see." Syusuke decided not to take the issue any further. He sighed softly and gently squeezed Ryoma's hand, enjoying the feel of her small hand in his. He wasn't sure if he could wait until tomorrow to tell Ryoma how he felt. He decided that he wouldn't. As they stood in front of Ryoma's home, Syusuke faced her, eyes open and completely serious. He stared at her for a moment before his gaze softened and he kissed her gently on the lips and smiled gently.

"Ryoma, I…I love you."

* * *

Well there you go. almost all written last night, but anyway...moving on. sorry if it seems a bit rushed and short. if it seems a decent lenth, then i did quite well half-asleep. the next update will hopefully have two stories. i had planned on putting up a new chapter for Twins but the school play took up too much time. so it will have to wait until the next update day. hopefully i'll have the next chapter for Impossible World done too. Sadly, there will only be at the most two more chapters for this story. The next update day is May 29, 2009.

Read and Review!

Lovishnesses, Lonely Rain!


	6. The Sixth Shard: Reparations

Hello!

Enjoy!

May 29, 2009

* * *

"Ryoma, I…I love you."

Syusuke didn't wait for an answer as he gently pushed Ryoma through the gate to her house and closed the gate behind her. He leaned back against the outside gate after he closed it. He wasn't sure if he would be able to wait until tomorrow to find out Ryoma's reaction. But he wasn't sure he could handle the reaction at that moment either. He slowly straightened up and walked back towards his own home.

On the other side of the gate Ryoma sank to the ground. She pressed her fingers to her lips. That was the third time in one day that she was kissed by Fuji Syusuke. She stayed like that until Nanjirou came out wondering where his daughter was. Ryoma had no idea how long she was outside sitting there until Nanjirou shook her. Ryoma raised her stricken eyes to her father who was startled to see his daughter so scared. He gently picked her up and carried her to her room calling for Rinko in his haste to figure out what was wrong. Nanjirou lay Ryoma on her bed and turned to his wife. Their words were silent to Ryoma, who was by now in complete shock. All she could see were her parents trying to figure out what was wrong with her, but she heard nothing but the words that were her only friend's parting.

Fuji Syusuke loved her. Someone loved her. And in a way that she was looking for. She couldn't believe that someone could love her like that. She was sure that it was just a joke. Not that she couldn't help but smile. She would have to make sure tomorrow that Syusuke wasn't playing around but for now, she was happy. Ryoma was not exactly sure as to what she should do now. Her parents were worrying over her and all she wanted to do was sleep and see if Syusuke would enter her dreams…WHAT WAS SHE THINKING?!?!

Ryoma nearly began to hyperventilate as she reviewed her recent thoughts. She wanted to see Syusuke in her dreams? She was _happy_ that Syusuke liked – no, _loved_ her? _Fuji Syusuke_. Seigaku's resident tensai. She _wanted_ him? To _see_ him? To …_love_ him? It didn't make any sense. How could Fuji Syusuke love someone like her? She couldn't even love herself let alone let someone else love her, right? It was too good to be true. Right? _Right_?

Ryoma passed out, much to her parents' worry, and slept the rest of the night away. She unconsciously decided to let everything go until she was sure that Syusuke loved her for real.

* * *

Syusuke returned home to find his sister waiting for him. He looked almost pleadingly at her. He wanted to know if she could read out his future now and see Ryoma's answer. Yumiko smiled slightly and shook her head. She instantly stopped as she saw her little brother's face fall into a deep pain.

"Syusuke! I wasn't shaking my head because her answer was no! I was shaking my head because I can't read that out in your fortune. You have to wait for her answer yourself and you'll find out tomorrow. You just have to be careful. A lot of her secrets will be shown to everyone else tomorrow, maybe before you even get your answer. That might even be the key. If you help her through all her trials in the near future, she might be more inclined to answer you positively." Yumiko explained.

Syusuke nodded slightly. He fixed his mask back in place as his brother came out of the room behind Yumiko. He couldn't let his brother see him like this. Syusuke smiled serenely at Yuuta before passing both his brother and sister. Syusuke headed straight to his room and closed the door and himself off from the world. He was scared for the first time. There was no one he could talk to about this. No one but himself knew of Ryoma's secret. He couldn't call Tezuka and Oishi for comfort or advice. His sister's words rang in Syusuke's head. Ryoma's secrets would be revealed tomorrow. Everyone would at least know that she was a girl, if not also the fact that she cut herself. He had to stand by her even if her answer was no. But Syusuke was not sure that he would be able to handle it if she answered no. He knew he wouldn't give up and get over her but he would definitely have to take a break to pull himself together. He hoped with every fiber of his being that she would accept his love and that he would be able to help her through the rest of her problems.

Syusuke groaned softly as he thought deeply about what might happen if Ryoma said yes. He was not sure if he would be able to stop himself from ravaging her soft mouth. He wanted to leave his mark on her pale neck. He wanted to leave lots of them. He wanted everyone to know that she was his and no one else's. He wanted to map her body with his lips. He wanted to make her squirm beneath him in unadulterated pleasure. He wanted to hear her moans, groans, whimpers and any other interesting noise she would make. He wanted to love her with every part of his heart, mind, body, and soul. Syusuke stood up slowly and went into his bathroom to take a cold shower before dropping off into a restless sleep.

* * *

The next day dawned bright and early for two people who were not looking forward to it. Ryoma woke up with an extremely bad feeling. Syusuke woke up with a light feeling, which was unusual for him. Both could feel something ominous in the air. They were so not looking forward to today.

* * *

Ryoma entered the school way too early for someone like her. She was a whole hour early for tennis practice, which started at 7 am. Ryoma was noted for being late by at least 15 minutes. She had been in a silent daze throughout her morning rituals and completely ignored the boy and girl in the mirror. Ryoma had barely managed to ward off her parent's worrying and hovering during breakfast. She didn't cut herself that morning or the night before and was feeling a little drained. Her hand had healed enough that she could use it in practice again, but her arms were another story. She might not be able to play up to her usual standards today and was prepared to brush off questions about her health from the other regulars, excluding Syusuke. He would already know why and wouldn't bother her with questions.

Ryoma had put off thinking too much about Syusuke's declaration. She had decided that she wouldn't think about it until after she got a confirmation on exactly the style of love. She wasn't sure why she thought she would be disappointed if it was just a brotherly love. She headed straight to the club room to get changed for tennis practice. She had a plain white athletic-style long-sleeved shirt so that she wouldn't have to wear her jersey over her shirt. Ryoma didn't hear anyone around. She decided that she was early enough to get changed in the main locker room, not a stall, without anyone walking in on her. How wrong she was. As soon as Ryoma had taken off her gakuran and uniform shirt, baring her bound chest and arms for the world to see, all of the regulars, plus Ryuuzaki-sensei and minus Syusuke, walked in. Everyone gasped, taking in the sight of the rookie all bandaged up. Nobody moved. Ryoma was scared to turn around. She took a deep breath and hoped that they only thought something bad happened and not seen her chest. She tried to pull on her long-sleeved shirt, but Eiji grabbed her shoulder and turned her around before she could pull it on. Eiji gasped again and backed away. Everyone could now see why her chest was bound.

"You– you're a–g–" Eiji couldn't finish as he backed up towards the other regulars. Their faces were priceless. Tezuka had actually broken character and his mouth was open and his eyes were wide. Oishi was on the floor in a faint. Momo was on his knees and staring at her, eyes completely blank. Kaidoh hissed one long hiss, sounding like a deflating balloon. Inui had dropped his notebook and his jaw. Taka-san had joined Oishi on the floor. Ryuuzaki-sensei had tears in her eyes and her mouth was moving like a fish. Silence ruled the clubhouse.

"Saa, why is everyone blocking the door?" Syusuke's voice broke the stupor over the regulars. Ryoma dropped to the floor and curled up in a ball, wishing desperately for a sharp object. Everyone else turned to Syusuke with looks of horror on their faces.

"What's going on? Why is everyone looking–" Syusuke caught sight of Ryoma. "Ryoma! What's going on?" Syusuke asked quietly, with a deadly aura. It was Tezuka who spoke up first.

"Echizen was changing when we came in. He- _she_ -had her back turned to us so all we saw were bandages on her arms and torso. She ignored us until Eiji went to turn her around and we saw that he was really a she. That's all th-" Tezuka was not able to finish his sentence as Syusuke interrupted him.

"Ryoma! Stop it!" As Tezuka had begun to explain what was going on, Ryoma had started to claw at her bandages, squeezing them and digging her nails into them. The wounds underneath started to bleed but Ryoma didn't seem to notice. She had her head bowed until it touched her knees, her arms were doing their own thing out in front of her as if she had no control over them. Syusuke was the only one who was watching her as Tezuka began to explain, so he was the first to notice her strange behaviour. He dropped his bag and pushed past the other regulars to the crying, shaking girl on the floor in front of the lockers.

The other regulars and the coach were horrified to see the blood on the bandages around Ryoma's arms. They watched in fascination as Syusuke tried to calm her down. Syusuke grabbed Ryoma's arms gently and pulled them away from each other. He was on his knees between her arms as he started to comb his fingers through her wig, gently pulling it off to card his fingers through her real hair. Ryoma stopped shaking, but her sobs grew louder. Syusuke sighed. He pulled her onto his lap as he leaned up against the lockers, rocking her back and forth. He looked pointedly at Tezuka who understood, shutting and locking the door. Practice didn't start for another 45 minutes. Syusuke shushed the girl in his arms until she lay silent. She wasn't asleep, everyone could see her dead eyes.

"She shattered." Syusuke whispered sadly. He picked up her long-sleeved shirt and maneuvered the girl into it before letting her rest against his chest once again.

"What do you mean, Fuji?" Tezuka asked softly. The other regulars had roused Oishi and Taka-san and everyone now sat down on the benches around the clubhouse. Syusuke looked up sadly.

"I think she has a slight personality disorder. When she looks in the mirror, she sees a boy and a girl. The girl is her true self and the boy is who she puts herself up to be in public. The boy is only seen when she is wearing the wig and the girl is only seen in the mirror by her. Not even we would see the girl that she does. The girl we see is her emergency façade. It's the girl we think she would be if we knew her as a girl all along. The girl she sees is the one who doesn't quite understand what is going on at all. I'm not quite sure why she started dressing as a boy in the first place, but apparently, she got tired of keeping her secret. She figured it out in a rather round-about way. She got angry at the boy in the mirror and punched him, thus breaking the mirror." Syusuke paused as Ryoma shifted. She uncurled from her ball and tried to burrow herself in his shoulder. He let her move at her own pace, keeping his arms around her, until she was comfortable. Everyone raised their eyebrows at their closeness.

Syusuke ignored them in favour of watching his object of affection in his arms. She seemed to be better, but her eyes were still the same. "After the mirror was broken, she salvaged a piece that looked like a knife. As she delved deeper into her fear of herself, she turned to the only way she perceived able to help her; cutting." There was a collective gasp as everyone else realized why her arms were bound.

"Although she's only been doing it for a couple of days, she still has many cuts on her arms. She has two deep ones on each arm and a series of lighter ones on both arms. All of them will scar." Syusuke said softly. "Nee-san read her fortune. It said that all her secrets would be revealed. Whether by me revealing it to everyone else, or her not being able to handle it, possibly landing her in the hospital. Ryoma toppled the tower by herself and I finished pulling down what was left. Now the only thing left is to help her back up."

"What do you mean by 'helping her back up'?" Eiji asked quietly. Syusuke looked at him.

"Her image of herself is completely shattered. She has no idea who she really is to herself and to the people around her. Perhaps by knowing how everything started, we could figure out what to avoid, but if she won't talk, we'll have a very hard time with it." Syusuke said shaking his head.

"It might have been her brother." Ryuuzaki-sensei said. Everyone looked in her direction. "Her brother died when she was very young. She probably saw how he was respected, as her brother was around fifteen when she was about seven, and she wanted to be like him. He was good at tennis and his skill was respected. She probably thought at that age that if she were a boy, or if people at least thought she was a boy, they would respect her too. I guess she didn't realize how it might trap her." Ryuuzaki-sensei explained.

Syusuke nodded as he looked down on the small head of green-black hair on his chest. "If that is the case, then we have to appreciate and respect her as a worthy opponent even as a girl. If we looked at her image of herself, we would probably have seen a mirror that has now shattered. Even if she wants to put the glass back together, Ryoma is probably afraid that she will cut herself on the edges and only crumble further. If she's even thinking far enough ahead where she has already put the pieces back together, she thinks that it will be cracked forever; that she will never be one piece again."

"Mou…So how do we help her?" Eiji asked. Syusuke looked up startled. Momo saw and asked, "What? You thought that we'd just shun her? She's a part of us. She's a part of the team. And we always look out for each other." The other regulars nodded and Ryuuzaki-sensei smiled. Syusuke looked back down at the girl in his arms.

"Ryoma. Peut-être nous avions tort des autres, mon bien-aimé.(1)" Syusuke said with a smile. He watched as Ryoma sat up slowly and looked at him while the regulars looked confused at the language switch.

"Et tu?(2)" She asked hoarsely.

"Tu ne penses pas c'est le temps pour arrêter mettant le dos de miroir et forme ensemble une fleur plutôt ? Nous tu acceptons pour qui tu êtes. Tu être. Je toujours tu aimerai indépendamment de.(3)" He replied softly.

"Promettes-tu? Comme mon amant/ami?(4)" She asked desperately, her eyes slowly clearing as she latched onto his comfort and confession like a lifeline.

"Je promets, mon amour.(5)" Syusuke said as he pressed a chaste kiss on her lips. He ignored the indignant squawks around them. She sighed and nodded, sitting up and slipping off of Syusuke's lap. Although she liked it there, she had to apologize to her teammates and coach. She turned to their red faces and knelt to the ground, bowing her head to her hands in the highest form of apology that really only embarrassed the humble.

"Gomennasai. Watashi wo yurushite kudasai.(6)" Ryoma said as she refused to look at them. She lifted her head only when Tezuka laid a hand on her shoulder.

"We forgive you. We understand. We are teammates, we look out for each other. You just have to let us." Tezuka said. He didn't smile, but Ryoma could see it in his eyes. Ryoma nodded and smiled as she sat up.

"Now get changed in the stalls before the other members come in. You'll have to continue changing in there, Ryoma. The rest of you get changed as well. And Fuji, I want a word with you at the end of practice." Ryuuzaki-sensei said as she stood up.

"Hai!"

* * *

Syusuke grinned as he grabbed his girlfriend's hand, startling her from her conversation with Sakuno. Ryoma had been forced, by Ryuuzaki-sensei, to switch uniforms and actually attend school in the correct uniform. The only thing that hadn't changed was that Ryoma was still allowed to play on the boys' tennis team. Her scars had faded a little, but they would always be there. Syusuke was happy that he was able to see his girlfriend during and after tennis practice. He was happy that he played against her almost everyday.

"Ryoma, are you ready to go?" Syusuke asked. He and Ryoma were going to take the Golden Week and spend time with just each other. No families, No friends, just themselves. Syusuke had already booked a hotel by the beach. Neither of them could wait to see the other in a swimsuit. The sexual tension between them was so thick that everyone around them could feel it and would try to stay away from them incase they snapped. No one wanted to see what would happen. But they did want the tension to be gone as soon as possible.

Ryoma turned to her boyfriend of three years and smiled. She couldn't wait for this beach trip. Syusuke had put this off for three years and now it was nearly unbearable for either of them. She wanted to turn to him and smack him for making her wait, but kiss him for holding out because of her father. Ryoma's father was the main reason they hadn't had sex yet. He wouldn't let Ryoma go over to Syusuke's unless there was someone else there. And Nanjirou was always watching when they were over at her house. Nanjirou hadn't wanted to let them go on this trip, but Rinko stepped in and let them go with her blessing. Ryoma had even brought her stuff with her to school today so that she wouldn't give her father a chance to keep her at home for the week.

"Of course I'm ready. It's someone's ass if I'm unhappy this week." Ryoma said with an innocent smile. Syusuke shivered slightly.

"Alright, alright. Let's go before anyone else tries to stop us out of 'friendly concern'. Have a nice day, Ryuuzaki." Syusuke said as he pulled his girlfriend towards his car. Syusuke opened the door to his sleek black convertible and help Ryoma in before shutting the door. As soon as he sat down and turned towards his girlfriend, lips met his in a soft kiss.

"I love you, Syusuke." Ryoma said sincerely. Syusuke opened his eyes and regarded her with love.

"I love you too, Ryoma." And he leaned over for another kiss.

* * *

1. Maybe we were wrong about the others, my sweetheart.

2. And you?

3. Don't you think it is time to stop putting the mirror back together and form a flower instead? We accept you for who you are. Be yourself. I will always love you no matter what.

4. Do you promise? As my lover/boyfriend?

5. I promise, my love.

6. I am very sorry. Please forgive me.

So What do you guys think? Check out my new story CSI:Japan and tell me what you think. Also check out An Impossible World. Twins wasn't updated again but i'm not sure where to go with it again.

Also, let me know what you think about this chapter and if i should add an epilogue of the beach trip.

Read and Review!

Lovishnesses, Lonely Rain!


	7. The Seventh Shard: Remembrance

Hello! Here is the Epilogue!

July 16, 2009

* * *

Ryoma nearly hopped out of the car as they arrived at the beach house Syusuke rented. She practically squealed in delight as she saw the sparkling seawater from the corner of the house. Syusuke chuckled as Ryoma bounced around.

"Calm down Ryoma. Really, the beach will be here all week. There's no need to be so overly excited." Syusuke said as he rolled into the driveway slowly just to torture the poor girl. Ryoma whined and bounced in her seat. Finally, Syusuke stopped and Ryoma jumped out and ran to the back of the house.

"But Syusuke, we live on the other side of Tokyo and we never get to see the beach. It makes me miss my California home. I could jump off of the cliff right into the refreshing seawater." Ryoma exclaimed as her eyes feasted on the ocean before her. Syusuke smiled and wrapped his arms around her smaller frame.

"Come on, let's go get the stuff out of the car and change so we can go onto the beach." Syusuke said as he kissed her ear. Ryoma whimpered slightly as he pulled away slowly. She turned to him and glared. Syusuke just smiled and turned around, waving his hand over his shoulder, heading back to the car.

Ryoma pouted but ran after him. "I call the bathroom first!"

__-_-I will eat you-_-__

Syusuke was sorely tempted to grab his girlfriend, pin her down, rape her, and then love her some more. That white bikini was undoing his self-control _way_ too quickly. He had to look away quickly to keep from doing anything to Ryoma.

"What's wrong?"

Dear god, he loved his girlfriend dearly, but her obliviousness to other people's predicaments was extremely annoying when directed at him. He forced his eyes closed so that he wouldn't have to look at his sexy, practically naked girlfriend. He turned away from Ryoma's questioning eyes and spoke.

"You look great. Too great to go out there. I like it, but not in general." Syusuke said in a strained voice. Ryoma looked confused for a moment before understanding dawned in her eyes. She grinned an evil cat-devil grin, sauntering up to her boyfriend. Syusuke was startled enough that he opened his eyes, immediately enraptured by the brilliant sexy amber-green eyes. He swallowed thickly as Ryoma got right up in his face and then continued on up to his ear. He shivered at the one word that wafted past his ear.

"Jealous?"

Ryoma slowly drifted back, but not before she sucked on his earlobe and dragged the tip of her tongue along his cheek. Ryoma could do nothing more before Syusuke's mouth was on hers and she was pinned against the wall next to the bathroom. Ryoma whimpered against the ferocity of the kiss. She returned the kiss with just as much passion. Hands groped the entire chest area. By the time Ryoma stopped, Syusuke's shirt was completely off and Ryoma's bikini ties were exceptionally loosened. She grinned as she tied them tighter before pushing her boyfriend towards the door of the bathroom.

"The beach is waiting, darling! Don't think that just because we've both been waiting to jump each other, it doesn't mean I won't make you suffer because of it." Ryoma said as she picked up her towel and walked out the back door.

"Little minx." Syusuke whispered with a smirk.

__-_-I will eat you-_-__

Ryoma whimpered to herself as she watched her boyfriend walk out the back door in his blue swim trunks. Good lord did she want to jump him. While he was graduating soon, she would have to suffer another two years at least with out seeing him almost everyday. While she knew that sex was not the answer to a relationship, she was almost positive that she would probably go back to cutting if there wasn't some action going on when she would see him.

Ryoma looked down at her arms. While there had only been four large ones and then smaller ones that seemed to disappear except for on some days, throughout the 'therapy' she received from her boyfriend, Ryoma had continued to cut. As she had mentioned before, it wasn't that easy to stop. The first couple of weeks of their new relationship were extremely tense. Ryoma had continued to cut because of the fast addiction she had acquired. Syusuke was not happy when he figured it out. They had been on and off almost everyday before Eiji came up and nearly slapped Syusuke. Ryoma had been startled at first, but agreed with Eiji after he explained to Syusuke that even though she had something to turn to, it wouldn't be immediate. Everyone had noticed that the cuts were shallower and deeper at the same time. Syusuke finally sat down with her and asked when the cuts were made.

Ryoma smiled bitterly as she remembered the sadness and guilt on her love's face when he heard that the deep cuts were made when she was deeply hurt by their fights and break-ups. The lighter ones were made when she wasn't sure if something was going to happen. He had apologized profusely for the rest of that day. He promised that he wouldn't say anything more about breaking up unless he deemed her addiction life-threatening and continuing. For three months afterwards, Ryoma called Syusuke every time she was about to cut herself. She giggled to herself at the memory of his panicked voice when she called him that night. It really didn't help and she ended up cutting herself that night anyway. Syusuke had come over the next day and did not let go of her hand until she fell asleep and her father kicked him out. She woke up later crying from a nightmare and called him in the middle of the night. She remembered Syusuke hanging up on her after a moment. She nearly screamed as the phone had then vibrated in her hands a moment later. She remembered answering it in tears before staring at the phone as apologies poured out of the handheld device. She was so surprised that she started to laugh. The next day, Syusuke raided her room and bathroom for any sharp objects, but she still found ways to cut.

But now there were at least twenty cuts on each arm. Some were shallow, some were deep. But Ryoma was glad that Syusuke was there for her. She wanted him to be happy. She was happy when he was. Ryoma stopped cutting merely for his sake. She sighed as strong, lithe arms wrapped around her.

"What are you thinking about?" Syusuke asked quietly.

"Just what has happened during our three years together." Ryoma answered.

"Do you still get the urge to cut?" he asked tentatively.

"Sometimes. Generally when I feel jealous or sad or lonely. Although I don't cut anymore, it doesn't mean that I won't ever feel the urge to again. It's like smoking. A smoker who is trying to stop can't do it immediately. They have to gently extract themselves from the comfort of the smoke. I couldn't stop just because you wanted me to. I was addicted. Even a smoker who quit forty years before will still feel the familiar tug for nicotine if he catches a whiff of smoke. He just has to make the choice to say no or yes." Ryoma explained softly.

"Mmm. Alright. We can talk more later. For now…" Syusuke said before he threw his small girlfriend over his shoulder and started towards the water. He enjoyed her squeals of protest as she squirmed on his shoulder. When Syusuke was about waist-deep, he threw Ryoma into the water in front of him, laughing as she surfaced spluttering.

"That's it! You asked for it now!" Ryoma cried as she lunged at the brunet.

__-_-I will eat you-_-__

Two teenagers collapsed onto the large bed, too tired to do anything _but_ collapse. Ryoma curled up in her towel and started to doze off. Syusuke rolled over and spooned up behind his girlfriend.

"Tired, baby?" Syusuke whispered. "Mmmm," was his only answer.

Syusuke smiled as he watched Ryoma sleep. He had not enjoyed the first few weeks of their relationship. He did understand how the whole addiction thing worked but the main problem was that it was Ryoma who had an addiction. When it came to Ryoma, all Syusuke wanted was to know that she loved him and that she was safe. The fact that she was endangering her life by cutting hurt so much. And when he found out that most of it was his fault, Syusuke felt so guilty. He promised to stay with her. Their break-ups over those first weeks were mainly because of an impulse to try and scare her from cutting. Sadly, it seemed to have an adverse effect and Syusuke beat himself up over that continuously. He wasn't sure what he was going to do if she left him or anything happened to her.

He remembered the day after she called him and he panicked. He hadn't let go of her hand for one moment unless absolutely necessary. He knew it was mainly a subconscious instinct and was glad that Ryoma seemed to understand. They both knew that he would have stayed over night if Nanjirou hadn't sent him home. He had dropped off to sleep as soon as he got home and was half asleep when Ryoma had called him in the middle of the night. He had hung up only to realize a second later that Ryoma might really need him. He called back, sending apologies flying across the line. It was silent on the other line for an excruciating moment before laughter broke out. Syusuke was startled and confused. Their conversation for the next hour brought out a lot of fears and issues for both of them.

Ryoma was his life now. He would do anything to make sure she would always be there and always be his. He couldn't live with out her. He was afraid at first that pulling the 'no sex because of her father' card would push her away, but when she heard that, she rolled her eyes and agreed to wait. He knew that they were going to have sex this week. He also was going to make her suffer the entire time. Because he knew that it would be painful for her for a few days after her first time and he was going to use that to his advantage. Syusuke planned on making her wait until the last night and then going all out. He knew Ryoma would probably kill him for it but he would deal. And she would probably be too happy and sore to really notice. Syusuke grinned as he slipped into the dream world to join his girlfriend.

Sunday

Ryoma threw a fit when Syusuke, with a knowing smile, dodged all of her tries to get him in bed. He pinned her arms to her sides and kissed her soundly.

"What were you saying?" He asked after he broke away.

"I don't remember." Ryoma answered in a daze.

"Good. We're going shopping." Syusuke said airily. Ryoma looked startled for a moment before grasping her boyfriend and dragging him out the door.

"It won't just be food shopping darling." Ryoma said evilly. Syusuke chuckled.

"Of course not, Ryoma-chan." Syusuke replied to the glare aimed at him and his comment.

Monday

Syusuke watched Ryoma sleep in until around noon. He woke her up with the nice scent of lunch in bed. They spent most of that day talking and looking out at the ocean through the bay window across from the bed. After nightfall, when the moon was out, the two went out for a walk on the beach. They were walking along nicely before Ryoma jumped her boyfriend with kisses and giggles. Syusuke was surprised but he happily returned the kisses. After about an hour of groping and kissing and rolling around in the sand, Syusuke carried Ryoma piggyback style all the way back to the beach house. There they continued the fiasco they stopped on the beach until Syusuke stopped them from going further. While Ryoma started to complain, Syusuke ran his fingers through her hair, calming her until she was purring in his lap. He smiled softly as Ryoma fell asleep on top of him. He readjusted the pillows behind him and both of their bodies so they were more comfortable before falling asleep himself.

Tuesday

"Why are you avoiding me?"

Ryoma's question surprised Syusuke as he looked up from his camera. They were doing a photo shoot for a school project that Syusuke had to complete for graduation. Syusuke wanted to showcase the two loves of his life: Ryoma and Photography. "I'm not avoiding you, darling. I'm saving you."

*Click*

"What do you mean?" Ryoma fumed.

*Click*

"Will you listen to me?"

*Click*

"I love you." Syusuke said. "And you're adorable when you're angry."

*Click*

"Syusuke!"

Wednesday

"Remember that we're leaving Saturday morning." Syusuke said to Ryoma as they ate lunch on the beachside. She glared at him. She took a sip of his milkshake before spitting it out on the sand.

"Wasabi milkshake? They actually have those?" Ryoma asked between sips of her own milkshake. Syusuke merely smiled.

"Of course. This is Japan. We always have strange types of things in almost every flavour. That includes milkshakes and why did you drink mine?" Syusuke asked even though he knew the answer.

"Revenge."

"Ah, of course."

"…"

"You know, we're not leaving until I've gotten sex." Ryoma said.

"My, so blunt. And of course we're not leaving until we have sex. You think I'm going back home without taking my one chance on tying you down and raping you?" Syusuke asked sadistically.

"And you say I'm blunt. There will be no tying down. And I don't want it on the last day. I know you're trying to make it special, but I-" Ryoma was cut off as Syusuke kissed her.

"Shh. I'm not waiting just to make it special. It's also because I want you to enjoy your time here but if you're in pain you won't want to do anything. And since you _will_ be in pain because you are a virgin, I'd rather wait. Besides, it makes the last night even more special. That way, you would have enjoyed the entire week and then gotten an explosive ending." Syusuke said softly.

Ryoma sighed. "Alright. But you better make it worth my while."

"Of course, sweetheart."

Thursday

The two went window shopping along the beach on Thursday. Syusuke bought something in one of the 'risqué' shops that were along the boardwalk. Ryoma only saw him putting it in one of the other bigger bags that they had as she came out from another shop. She didn't actually get anything in that shop but they had some really cute cat toys that she wanted to get for Karupin. Sadly the prices were higher than those on her side of Tokyo. So when she asked Syusuke what he got from his shop, he smiled mysteriously and held the bag his purchase was in away from her. Ryoma pouted at first but forgot about it soon enough. They enjoyed a nice lunch at a small beachside café where they grudgingly received a phone call from Eiji.

"Nya, how are you guys doing? Do the dirty deed yet? What about-"

*Click*

"Nya! They hung up on me!"

Friday

Ryoma woke up first in the slight dawn of her last day here. She smiled at her sleeping boyfriend. Ryoma brushed away a bang that fell into Syusuke's face. She leaned down and gave him a kiss.

"I love you." Ryoma whispered before getting up and walking outside. Since they were on the east coast of Japan, Ryoma could watch the sunrise instead of the sunset like she could in California. So Ryoma sat down on the beach and gazed out over the ocean, watching the sun rise in its bright, pretty, orange display. She wasn't sure how long she was out there before she felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up to see her boyfriend with a blanket and a plate of cheese toast.

"I know you don't like American breakfast, but I'll make a Japanese breakfast when we go back inside. In the meantime, I know you do like cheese toast." Syusuke said as he handed the plate to her so that he could wrap them in the blanket. Ryoma smiled as she cuddled up to her boyfriend. She turned to say something when Syusuke caught her lips in a passionate kiss. The sat there kissing for another hour before they broke away to go back inside. There Ryoma waited patiently as Syusuke cooked up an entire Japanese breakfast for two. She clapped like a small child as he set her platter before her with a kiss to her hair.

"Thank you, Syusuke." She said as he sat down next to her.

"For what?" He asked as they ate.

"For today."

"Why are you thanking me now? I haven't even really started spoiling you today." Syusuke asked.

"Well, if I'll be as sore as you say after we have sex, then I should thank you sincerely while I'm not irritated. That way, you know I'm thankful even if I might say otherwise later because of the pain." Ryoma replied.

"It makes sense. So what do you want to do today? I'm yours until dinner. Without anything that has to do with sex." He asked and then corrected himself.

"That sucks. Well, we can go see a movie, eat lunch, go swimming, eat dinner, have sex, go to bed, get up and leave." Ryoma said.

"What a planner. We'll do that then." Syusuke said as he finished his breakfast.

"Go get ready. We'll leave in an hour." He said with a kiss to her forehead.

"Hai!"

After the movie

"Well, that was a very funny and interesting movie."

"At least it was subtitled. If they had dubbed that movie I would be pissed."

"Good thing we are both fluent in English then. At least we could understand both what the characters were saying and it was really funny how sometimes the subtitles did not match up with what the characters were saying. Which made it even more hilarious when the other people laughed at something that wasn't funny at the time."

"That was a pretty good plus. And my favourite character was the large bird. The only thing that comes to mind is a multi-coloured do-do bird."

Both of them laughed as they exited the movie theatre, heading towards a nearby restaurant. There the two continued their conversation about the movie while they had a nice lunch, completely oblivious to the stares they were getting in the restaurant and through the windows. Syusuke and Ryoma were happily encased in their own little bubble.

"Let's go, Ryoma. We don't want the sun to set on our day before we go swimming." Syusuke said, standing up and kissing his girlfriend, causing the waitresses and female patrons to swoon and writhe in jealousy.

"Hai." She replied and stood gracefully, causing the waiters and male patrons to get hot and bothered. The two grasped hands and shared a passionate kiss before heading back to the beach house.

The two changed quickly into their bathing suits; Ryoma in a black and red flame bikini and Syusuke in matching trunks. Ryoma slide up against her boyfriend, giving him a long passionate kiss before pulling back and running off towards the beach.

"Catch me if you can!" Ryoma called out as Syusuke stared after her. He grinned as he chased after his girlfriend.

That Night

"All right, darling. Go get changed." Syusuke said as he pushed his petite girlfriend towards the bathroom and handed her a bag. Syusuke had left Ryoma playing beach volleyball with a few other girls for a couple of hours while he went to prepare for dinner and the rest of the night. "Don't come out until I say it's ok and you had better be wearing that blindfold when I say it's ok."

Ryoma rolled her eyes behind the blindfold as she nodded, taking the bag and shutting the bathroom door. She was confused as to why she needed to wear the blindfold in the first place, but Ryoma had decided to humor her boyfriend. She took the blindfold off to get dressed and was surprised to see herself holding a familiar looking bag. _Didn't he have this during…?_

Ryoma shook her head as she peeked into the bag. A full out blush spread across her entire face. Just how did her boyfriend get these clothes without looking suspicious or perverted? And how did he know what sizes to get? She shook her head and just started to pull the clothes on, no matter how embarrassing they seemed. Really, the underwear was more strips of lace than actual cloth.

The electric blue lingerie was a sheer corset with some embroidery and the thong was also a sheer blue. The dress was an Ice Champagne silk brocade mini dress that looked really pretty. Ryoma could even see herself buying and wearing it every so often. The lingerie: not so much. It felt embarrassing. Ryoma sighed as she merely pulled her hair into a messy bun, letting tendrils fall to frame her face. She gently tied the blindfold back on and knocked on the door.

"Syusuke, I'm done." Ryoma called softly. She only had to wait a moment before hearing the door open. She felt herself pulled into strong arms and lips covering hers in a passionate kiss. Her arms wrapped around the familiar male body in front of her as she returned the kiss. Syusuke pulled away reluctantly.

"There'll be more later, but if we don't stop now, then we won't ever eat dinner." Syusuke whispered huskily into her ear. He pulled her along behind him as he walked out of the house and onto the beach. It was now dark and everyone had left the beach. The moon had risen only slightly and it was a full one. Syusuke smiled slightly as he settled his girlfriend onto the blanket on the beach. He pulled the blindfold off and stared straight into her eyes as they opened and then widened, taking in everything around her.

The blanket was held down by four torches and a glorious meal was spread in front of them. Chawanmushi, fried and grilled fish, and unagi rolls were laid out in front of her. Syusuke had his own favourites in front of him, like wasabi rolls and Fuji apple slices. Ramune bottles were sitting in a bucket of ice, as if they were champagne for the two teenagers. Ryoma clapped her hands in childish happiness.

"Thank you, Syusuke! This is amazing! It's my favourites!" Ryoma exclaimed. She leaned up against her boyfriend as she pulled a bowl of Chawanmushi towards her. They ate slowly, enjoying their last night at the beach. Syusuke pulled Ryoma into his arms as the torches died down after the meal. He swung her up into his arms after he stood and carried her bridal style back to the house. Ryoma rested her head against Syusuke's shoulder as he carried her inside. She normally would have put up a fuss but since no one was around and she didn't want to ruin Syusuke's plan, Ryoma let her boyfriend do as he pleased.

Syusuke brought her inside and to the bed. Ryoma, having turned into Syusuke's neck to torture him, gasped as she turned back around to look at the bed. Black silk sheets and a blood red comforter adorned the bed underneath a scattering of rose petals. She nuzzled her boyfriend's cheek.

"You are so cliché." She said with a smirk.

"Mada mada dane." Syusuke replied snidely. Ryoma gasped in indignation as Syusuke dropped her onto the bed in a pile of squirming arms and legs. She sat up only to jerk back as Syusuke's face appeared centimeters from her own. Only then did she realize her position. She was trapped against the bed between Syusuke's knees and elbows. She gasped as Syusuke captured her lips and plunged his tongue into her mouth when she gasped. Her arms wrapped themselves around his neck. Small noises escaped her as her mouth was plundered by her boyfriend-soon-to-be-lover. Ryoma pulled away with a squeak when she felt Syusuke growl.

"You are mine." He whispered huskily into her ear before capturing the lobe. Ryoma gasped again. One of Syusuke's hands grabbed hers and pinned them above her head. His lips and tongue traveled past her lips and attached to her neck with gleeful nips and licks. Ryoma moaned as Syusuke's other hand started to remove the pretty dress. He went about it very slowly from the bottom, sliding the fabric up Ryoma's thighs and past her hips. Syusuke pressed his knee between her legs and rubbed hard. He was rewarded with a shriek and he smirked as Ryoma gasped heavily. He could feel the cloth covering his knee was being soaked. He let her go, as she couldn't move because of her senses being robbed by his knee, and pulled his shirt off over his head. He groaned as he felt frantic hands on his chest. Syusuke frantically searched for the zipper to Ryoma's dress. As soon as he found it, Syusuke pulled it all the way down and carefully but quickly pulled the dress off baring Ryoma and her sexy blue lingerie to the room and himself.

Everything seemed to pause the moment Ryoma realized that she was only in her blue lingerie and Syusuke could see all of her. She whimpered slightly as Syusuke leaned down and pressed chaste kisses on her face. He slid his hands gently from her neck down her collarbone to her chest. He massaged her breasts through the sheer cloth of her corset. Ryoma whimpered, simpered, and whined as Syusuke touched her only through the cloth. He reached around and began to untie the satin ribbon that held the corset together. She wriggled as Syusuke was careful not to touch any skin.

"Just use the zipper on the side! Please!" Ryoma groaned as Syusuke made slow work of the ribbon. After another few annoying moments, Syusuke finally pulled the ribbon free of its last grommet. Without fully removing the corset, Syusuke tied Ryoma to the headboard at the center, palms facing together. Ryoma barely had time to squall at her boyfriend before she was lost in waves of bliss as Syusuke ground his hips against hers and kissed her soundly. She moaned heavily as Syusuke slowly slid the corset off through the very small space between their bodies, sliding pleasurably against her nipples. Ryoma struggled against the ribbon, trying not to break it as she was trying to get free. She canted her hips up against Syusuke's who pulled away from her neck panting heavily. He sat back and appraised the sight of his almost naked girlfriend. Syusuke grinned, eyes open and staring hungrily at Ryoma. Ryoma herself shivered at the heated look in Syusuke's eyes.

"I'm going to undo you quite well before I take you gently." Syusuke said as he ran his hands all over her body. Ryoma's eyes rolled back into her head as she felt Syusuke everywhere except right between her legs.

"Syu- Syusuke. Please!" Ryoma whimpered. Syusuke slid his finger right across her covered clit, wringing a loud cry out of his petite girlfriend. He cupped her, letting the warmth of his hand tease her further. Ryoma squirmed like no tomorrow, letting out some very interesting noises. Syusuke captured her lips in a desperate kiss. He pinned Ryoma underneath him as the kiss continued. Ryoma broke the kiss with a small cry. Syusuke groaned before jumping off the bed and pulling off his jeans and boxers, baring himself to Ryoma. He turned back to the bed to see Ryoma halfway through the process of trying to untie herself. She was only halfway through because as soon as Syusuke was naked, Ryoma froze, staring at her hot boyfriend/lover. Syusuke was startled at the fact that Ryoma flinched as he turned to her. Syusuke walked over and gently kissed her. The next thing Ryoma knew, she was just as naked and completely free of the ribbon.

"Syusuke?" Ryoma asked quietly, her breathing slightly uneven. He smiled a small, patient smile.

"It's alright. We don't have to do this now." Syusuke said softly.

"No! No. I do want it. I just don't want you to tie me down. I want us both to do it together the first time. I want to make love with you. I want to be able to touch you, to love you." Ryoma said hurriedly. She was practically sitting in his lap.

"Alright, dear. I wasn't saying we'll stop completely, just the light bondage." Ryoma glared at Syusuke when he stated that. He leaned forward and kissed her forehead.

"I love you." He whispered. Ryoma blushed slightly at his statement and then suddenly thrust her hips against his. His gasp was so worth it. Syusuke had thrown his head back in pleasure and Ryoma took advantage of it, attaching her lips to his neck. She bit down lightly but hard enough to make him cry out.

"This is what I want you to do to me. Mark me, scratch me, mar me." She hissed along his neck. She had him pushed down on the bed and was attacking his neck so well that the only thing Syusuke could do was find something to grab, scratch, anything to distract himself. At one point, Ryoma bit him hard enough just above the hallow of his collarbone, that Syusuke raked his hands down her back, deep enough for her to throw her head back with a loud moan. Syusuke took the opportunity to assault Ryoma's neck while slowly slipping a finger into her core. Ryoma froze at first, before drowning in the bliss of pain targeted around her neck and chest. By the time Syusuke was comfortably moving three fingers in and out, Ryoma was barely able to form a coherent thought and Syusuke was playing with her breasts, nipping and flicking them until they were rock hard.

Syusuke flipped his lover down against the bed sheets and pushed against Ryoma's entrance. He twined his hand with hers before thrusting into Ryoma quickly. Ryoma screamed in pain, her arm wrapped around his neck to keep him in place. She whimpered as tears spilled down her cheeks. She squeezed Syusuke's hand as tightly as possible.

Syusuke was in a slight predicament. His cock was throbbing in the _tight_ heat of Ryoma's core. He needed to move. But he didn't want to hurt his little girlfriend. He knew that this would happen, but he didn't expect Ryoma to be this tight. Suddenly, Ryoma thrust her hips up, dropping a cry as she did so. Syusuke groaned as the tight heat flexed around him in all directions.

"Syu- Syusuke! Move!" Ryoma moaned. Syusuke didn't need anymore. He began to thrust lightly into his girlfriend. Suddenly, Syusuke changed the direction, perfectly hitting that spot in his girlfriend that caused her to make the most interesting, adorable noises. Syusuke played with her clit until he felt her body temperature spike and Ryoma looked panicked.

"Syusuke! I…Help… I can't…"

"Let go, Ryoma. I'll help you…just let go." Syusuke answered her cries with his own panted breath.

Ryoma screamed as she came, her walls tightening impossibly around Syusuke's cock, wringing him along into his own orgasm. He collapsed on top of her before gently pulling out and rolling off. He pulled her into his arms, Ryoma's head resting on his shoulder as she fell asleep.

"I love you, Ryoma." He whispered.

"I love you, too, Syusuke." She whispered tiredly.

__-_-I will eat you-_-__

"Ryoma! Don't move round! It'll only-"

"ITAI!"

"…hurt more." Syusuke sighed as his lover tried to help him pack up. Finally he had had enough and gently scooped her up into his arms and set her on the couch.

"Stay here until I'm done. I'll tie you down if I have to." He said with a playful glare. He finished quickly and deftly, having the rest of the luggage in the car in less than 15 minutes. He went back inside to get Ryoma and lock up only to find his girlfriend asleep on the couch, hugging the pillow he had used while they were there. He locked the other doors and turned off lights and power before returning to his girlfriend. He picked her up so gently she didn't even wake up. Locking the door behind them, Syusuke carried Ryoma to the car and placed her in her seat. He got into the driver's seat before resettling his girlfriend so that her head was on his lap.

"Let's go home, Ryoma." Said person nuzzled his thigh and continued to sleep.

"Mmmm." Syusuke smiled at her reply.

"I'll always love you."

* * *

Well there you go! Hope that explained everything and gave you all the lemon you wanted.

Here are the links for Ryoma's 'last night' clothes.

dress: www. goodorient .com /Ice_Champagne_Silk_Brocade_Mini_Dress_P24899

Lingerie: www. lingeriediva .com /corsets/sheer-nude-corset-w-embroidered-appliques just change it to electric blue instead of white.

Hope you all enjoyed Shards of My Broken Reflection as much as i enjoyed writing it. Be on the look out for updates to An Impossible World. CSI:Japan! has to wait until the fall to be updated because i'm generally inspired by CSI: Miami. Twins is on Hiatus right now. I have found some bearing on Apples and Starling so hopefully there will be a new chapter out before Christmas. Keep your fingers crossed!

Read and Review!

Lovishnesses, Lonely Rain.


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